OVERCOMING APPROACH ANXIETY WITH WOMEN

Men's Domain note: This guest article is from Mike Boss ,who is the founder of  The Guy's Handbook , a website dedicated to men's lifestyle and interests. Be sure to check out his website The Guy's Handbook

Nothing bothers me more than when a buddy points out a chick and says "hey, check that out" only to up with some lame excuse as to why he can't just go over and talk to her. The same guy who lost a bet and ran down the street naked is now deathly afraid of talking to a woman. I don't get it, what's the big deal? The worst that can happen is that you end up exactly where you were ten minutes ago. And yet, for a lot of guys, approaching women is one of the hardest things they can do. They start thinking about all the worst case scenarios and think that everybody will end up laughing at them. The truth is, it never happens. But for some reason it's always in the back of their minds eating away at their success. Hopefully we can end this negative thinking today and realise that it's only in our heads.

First thing you need to know is that Women get hit on by guys all the time and they're used to it. They don't think any less of a guy if he doesn't succeed in picking her up. In fact, many of the women that I've talked to have told me that they're just as annoyed by the guys that DIDN'T talk to them! Imagine that. All a guy had to do was go up and talk to her and she would have easily went on a date with him. But the simple fact that he couldn't man up to it made him less attractive to her. Even if she could see that he was nervous, she would still admire that he chose to approach her anyway. It shows that he's not a wimp. And even if she's not attracted to the guy that's approaching her she'll simply just let him know and they will both continue on their way. So... what is she thinking after she rejects a guy? Honestly, not much. You've just simply complemented her and boosted her ego. Again, no big deal. So now that you have no reason to have any insane, rash ideas in your head about approaching women... lets begin!

We'll start off slow and build momentum off that. At first you're not trying to pick up any girls. It's all about opening up to people and being more social, because that's usually the underlying problem. All day long you should be making small talk with people. Make simple comments to people about things you notice. The other day I was at the mall and the girl in front of me dropped her cell phone. But her friend, who apparently has the reflex of a cheetah, caught it before it hit the ground. so I told her "That's a wicked reflex you've got there. You belong in the major leagues!" It turns out she plays baseball on the weekends. In just 5 seconds I have already started a conversation with a group of girls and have plenty to talk about. It's that simple. The important thing is to clear your mind of any thoughts and just say something. Don't think of it as a pickup line or anything like that. The goal is simply to be more social with people. You should even be talking to guys just to get the feel of talking to strangers. After a while you'll notice that people are a lot friendlier than you thought.

After a while you'll become more relaxed and comfortable with approaching women and starting small talk. Now you can focus on actually trying to pick them up. Remember, girls are used to guys hitting on them. So just throw a them a compliment and see how they react. A useful tool to add to your arsenal are backhanded compliments. Phrases like "you seem very mischievous" said in a good way. It's kind of like teasing them and flirting with them at the same time. They love it. Only do this once or twice. If you do it too many times you'll just come across as a jerk. If you're feeling confident enough, ask them if they will join you for lunch, or invite them to a party or to go out with you and your friends on the weekend. If she doesn't want to, just wish her well and you'll be on your way to the next girl.