How To Actually Win A Fist Fight
by Joe Peacock of
Mentally Incontinent.
Part 1
You know it has to be said, first sentence,
first paragraph: the best way to win a fist fight is not to get
into one in the first place.
No shit, sherlock.
Every single mens magazine who has ever attempted to publish an
article like this has started (and ended) exactly that way and
is usually devoid of any real information - sometimes because
someone on the editorial staff wanted to avoid putting the
periodical at risk for a lawsuit; other times because the author
has absolutely no clue what they’re talking about, so they cop
out with this “Verbal Judo Wins The Day!” crap.
It’s common sense - avoid fighting if at all possible. No one
likes to get hit (and if you do, there’s no need to go crawling
pubs to find it. There’s any number of clubs filled with
rubber-suited men and women who will give you a safety word and
a few bruises for the right price...). But sometimes, diplomacy
erodes to a good old fashioned bust-up, or worse, your opponent
is just a big bully who’s looking to drive a knuckle into your
nose. In either case, you are - at some point in your life -
going to be called upon to defend yourself.
So... What to do? Well, I can’t promise that the following
information will turn you into a hands-of-steel cage fighter who
can handle any MMA bruiser in a back-alley match... In fact, if
you’re actually in NEED of the information in this article, I
can guarantee you that a trained martial artist or fighter will
destroy you. But all things being equal, if you’re simply an
untrained person who’s facing your schoolyard nemesis, or
someone looking to simply get the basics under your belt in case
something gnarly goes down, I can assure you that you’re way
better off knowing this stuff than not.
The Basics
First, you need to know a few things:
Knowing and accepting those two things as fact
will free your mind up enough to begin thinking about much more
important stuff, like strategy and technique. If you’re
petrified with fear over how much it’s going to hurt when the
big bad guy hits you, you’re going to be out of focus. Thus,
you'll be much more vulnerable to taking damage than if you can
just accept the reality of the situation and move past it... And
perhaps, walk into the situation with a bit of confidence.
Confidence CANNOT be overvalued in a fight situation. If you
walk in knowing you will win, your chances of winning are far
greater... If for no other reason than the fact that you will
gain a psychological edge on your opponent. If you don’t have
confidence, fake it. Seriously, it’s important.
If you’re fighting in an enclosed area, position yourself so
that there is an exit to your rear. If you cannot, try to get an
exit positioned to your strong side (right side, if you’re right
handed, left side if you’re left handed). The ability to retreat
can make the difference between getting punched and getting
beat. It’s helpful to remember that “retreat” does not always
mean “flee” - sometimes, you have to back off a bit to get your
act together.
If you’re a student or a frequenter of bars, you need to know
that there is a very high liklihood that your fight is going to
take place in the center of a huge ring of people who are
chanting, yelling, screaming and whatnot. If this is the case,
get to the door and get in position before they can seal it off
as a crowd of spectators.
Lastly, if you’re up against two or more guys, someone with a
weapon, or other crazy situation, don’t be a hero - get the hell
out of there. If you simply cannot escape, look at the end of
this article in the section “Impossible Situations”.
Your Stance
Your stance is the way you stand and position yourself during a
fight. It’s by far the most important part of your actual
fighting technique. Now, this sounds like crap, but it’s
absolutely true. Your base - the position of your feet and legs
- determines how much power you can deliver in a blow.
You should keep your feet about shoulder width apart, with your
“strong” foot slightly forward. Your knees should NEVER be
locked - keep them slightly bent, but not so much so that you
feel a strain in your upper legs.
As far as your “guard” goes, there are any number of techniques
and positions that you could adopt, but the most simple is your
strong hand in front of your face, your weak hand slightly below
it guarding your chin, and your elbows very slightly
Never, EVER drop your guard. Keep your hands in
front of your vital areas at ALL times, unless actively
delivering a blow or in the midst of grappling with someone.
Keep your chin tucked to your chest as much as possible, and
ALWAYS keep your eyes up and on your opponent. You will find
that, if you take away the chin and neck as targets, your
chances of becoming disabled (knocked out or unable to breathe)
are reduced by an order of magnitude. We’ll cover more of this
in “Taking A Punch” - for now, you just need to know how to
stand.
Now, with that strong foot forward, your strong-side hip is
going to be slightly pointed at your opponent, and your strong
hand - when you throw the punch - is going to place a lot of
pressure on your strong leg. This is vital - if you can use the
power of physics to align the transfer of energy from your foot,
up your leg, through your hip and shoulder to your fist as you
throw the punch, you will devastate your foe when you connect.
Keep moving. Don’t dance around like a moron, or you can get
tripped up and probably knocked out... But definitely keep
moving to the side, occasionally changing direction. Don’t pick
your feet up off the ground completely; rather, try to shuffle
slightly. Stay as much of a moving target as you can without
putting yourself at risk of being tripped, pushed, or otherwise
taken out stupidly. You’ll DEFINITELY want to practice this in
your room / garage / backyard to get the hang of it.
Lastly... No wild blows. Don’t go into a fight flailing like a
madman, trying to hit whatever you can as much as possible.
You’re going to wear yourself out VERY quickly, which will leave
you completely vulnerable to the patient opponent - which is
completely counter to the goal of this guide, right? You want to
win, not end up a bloody lump of exhausted meat on the ground.
Find your target, be patient, look for openings, and deliver
your blows carefully and with great purpose. And that leads me
to...
What You’re Actually Here For: How To Punch Someone
First, the fist:
-
Fold your four fingers downward into your
hand
-
Place your thumb on the OUTSIDE of your
fingers
Now, the particulars:
You want to fill the space in your palm with whatever you have
at your disposal - a roll of pennies, some dirt or hunks of
grass... Anything to reduce the space between your fingers and
the inside of your hand. If you have nothing available (or,
don’t want to be accused of “dirty fighting” or whatever... But
let’s face it, all’s fair when there’s no ref’s and the threat
of bodily harm), try to grab the “meat” of your palm, where all
those callouses are, and wrap it slightly under your fingertips.
Whatever you do, do NOT fill that space with
your thumb. Your thumb MUST be outside your fingers, sitting at
a 90 degree angle to your index finger and bent at the second
knuckle.
 Don’t
let it stray off to the side; don’t do that little “thumb out”
fist-pump swagger thing you saw DMX do in that one Jet Li
movie...
The same goes with your pinky. Some flashy morons try to show
how cool they are by sticking their pinkies out in the air while
waving their fists at you, like it’s wine-tasting time. Don’t be
that guy. Keep your fist tight - all four fingers folded and
your thumb out of the way, or they’ll be sticking WAY out... In
a fiberglass cast for six to eight weeks.
Now that you’ve made a fist, it’s time to fling
it at someone. First, a word of caution (or, if you prefer, a
note on technique): It is IMPERATIVE that you keep the back of
your hand completely in line with your forearm at all times.
Never, ever flex your wrist in any direction when delivering a
punch, or you’ll break it.
There are several types of punches, and I’m sure you can readily
call to mind several types based on what you’ve seen in movies,
televised boxing matches, MMA bouts, etcetera. The type of punch
that I most highly advocate - especially for an untrained
fighter - is a simple straight punch. Keeping the elbow bent and
at a 30 - 45 degree angle to the body (and in front of your face
- remember, don’t drop your guard), extend the fist forward with
simultaneous extension of the elbow and the shoulder. The elbow
should straighten the arm, the shoulder should deliver the
force... It sounds strange, but try not to deliver force by the
extension of the elbow. Let your body weight push through your
shoulder into your arm. Connect the blow at the peak of
extension to get the maximum force out of your blow. Connecting
too soon, you'll lose power; Connecting too late, you'll throw
yourself off balance.
Hooks - the wide-sweeping side punches you see a lot of people
throwing - are great for boxing or other score / tactical
fighting... But they don't deliver the force a good
straightforward punch will, and they're SLOW. If someone's out
there scoring you on how many times you connect, sure, go for
it. But otherwise, just stick to the straight punches. The same
goes for uppercuts and light jabs. Stay away from those unless
you've been training purposely with combinations and whatnot
(which this guide assumes you're not, since you're obviously
here to learn the basics. All you "trained" fighters out there,
I don't need your emails about how I'm wrong to suggest avoiding
these. You know what you're doing? Go for it... Otherwise...).
Make your punches count - give a full-force blow that connects
quickly at the apex of extension each and every time.
Part 2 |
