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Sh*t My Dad Says
After being
dumped by his longtime girlfriend, twenty-eight-year-old Justin
Halpern found himself living at home with his
seventy-three-year-old dad. Sam Halpern, who is "like Socrates,
but angrier, and with worse hair," has never minced words, and
when Justin moved back home, he began to record all the
ridiculous things his dad said to him:
"That woman was
sexy. . . . Out of
your league? Son,
let women figure out
why they won't screw
you. Don't do it for
them."
"Do people your
age know how to comb
their hair? It looks
like two squirrels
crawled on their
heads and started
fucking."
"The worst thing
you can be is a
liar. . . . Okay,
fine, yes, the worst
thing you can be is
a Nazi, but then
number two is liar.
Nazi one, liar two."
More than a million
people now follow Mr.
Halpern's philosophical
musings on Twitter, and
in this book, his son
weaves a brilliantly
funny, touching
coming-of-age memoir
around the best of his
quotes. An all-American
story that unfolds on
the Little League field,
in Denny's, during
excruciating family road
trips, and, most
frequently, in the
Halperns' kitchen over
bowls of Grape-Nuts,
Sh*t My Dad Says is
a chaotic, hilarious,
true portrait of a
father-son relationship
from a major new comic
voice.
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